May-20, 2012, Yangjiang, China
The girl could not have been more than two. Her feet,
uncalloused and pudgy in the way children’s feet are, dangled loosely, one
pressing slightly on her father’s belly, seemingly in an attempt to step up to
gain a better, higher, view. Her fingers, also dimpled and pudgy, were
intertwined in her father’s hair, one wrapped around each side of his
neck. She had curly hair which reminded
me in color and texture of my son’s before his first substantial hair cut when his
splendid curls disappeared, never to return. The little girl wore a pink sundress over pink
stretchy pants. What is it about a toddler’s feet that just make you want to
reach out for a tickle and an easy giggle? This little girl in her manner and
movement brought me deliciously back to that time when my own children were
that age.
The father wasn’t particularly noticeable in any
extraordinary way, except for the black beard which appeared neither trimmed
nor untrimmed. The beard seemed to grow on its own in an even way which covered
his lower face with precision. Even in my 50’s, I still often wish I could get
mine to grow like that. Vanity never sleeps, I guess. The father was hustling
his family, his wife, daughter and himself, through O’Hare, a lovely family
really, just getting from here to there in the crush of thousands of others all
moving with luggage and purpose in every possible direction.
The mother followed closely behind the father and child,
exchanging some conversation with the father. They stopped for a moment not far
where I waited in line to get my boarding pass, mother, father, and child,
extraordinary in no special way, except they were Muslim, and the woman wore an
abaya and niqāb which covered her head except for small slits for her eyes as
well as her medium frame all the way down so that only a short glimpse of red
pant leg and tips of tan shoes was visible when she was walking.
Muslims believe that Mohammed was a messenger of God and
that he was the last law bearer in a series of prophets and through him God’s
truths were revealed. There are several
passages in the Muslim holy book, which is believed by the devout to be the word
of God delivered through the messenger, which refer to the required coverage of
the female form to protect from raising sexual desire in men.
What is most often called a burqa is a specific sort of
covering, but there are different types of clothing that a devout Muslim woman
would wear. The burqa is the covering seen in the most conservative societies,
and is full coverage head to toe, where both the eyes and often even the hands
are kept from public view. A different
type of clothing, the abaya, often referred to incorrectly as a burqa, also
provides full body covering. This is then combined with a niqāb, which is the
veil which covers all but the eyes. By
choice, some Muslim women were a hijab head covering which exposes the face but
covers the hair, the ears, and usually in combination with other clothing the
neck. The hijab extends to what most often are loose fitting clothes designed
to shroud any female features. Women who
wear this combination sort of appear to be wearing lose fitting pajamas with a
tightly drawn head scarf. I saw several women wearing the hijab, walking with
their families in the Hong Kong Airport, laughing and talking with their kids
and spouses. Dour these people were not and the thought passed through me that
I really don’t know much about the lives of Muslims.
The commitment to this attire certainly attests to the
devout nature of the women wearing it. I think the same when I see Hasidic
women in my community dressed in long skirts, industrial strength hose, and
hair covered in a wig, which is then often covered over with a hat. Orthodox Jews also believe that the female
form is a dangerous preoccupation of men. As do fundamentalist Christians. Pat
Robertson, the 700 Club TV preacher, who in his reading of the bible is such an
easy mark it almost seems unfair to bring it up, has a history of saying
outrageous things about the subservient posture of women.
But I do not write this to bash any religion or practice,
all of which rise from deep wells of faith and form a foundation of morality
for the believers. The last time I touched the subject of religion I was
stunned by the vitriol of those that do not believe and it occurred to me that
non-believing is in a lot of cases a dogma on its own merits. Often times there
is little tolerance or acceptance of believers. I thought at the time how their
narrow-mindedness was not all that different from the believers they so
fervently despise for what they believe is their narrow-mindedness.
For me the larger challenge to religious faith is more scientific than theological. As a child I always loved the visits to the Adler Planetarium in Chicago. There we would be told of the millions, perhaps billions, of galaxies of which our little planet is part of just one. I think it may have been there where they explained the size and scope of just our universe that seeds of doubt may have been placed. I was a good little catholic boy then, but the fact that the vastness of all creation exists, for me at least raised doubts as I got older about the dogma of my youth.
For me the larger challenge to religious faith is more scientific than theological. As a child I always loved the visits to the Adler Planetarium in Chicago. There we would be told of the millions, perhaps billions, of galaxies of which our little planet is part of just one. I think it may have been there where they explained the size and scope of just our universe that seeds of doubt may have been placed. I was a good little catholic boy then, but the fact that the vastness of all creation exists, for me at least raised doubts as I got older about the dogma of my youth.
Years later I remember sitting in the Hayden Planetarium in
New York watching a Christmas show with my kids, all the time thinking about
what to me at least is the absurdity of the idea that the world’s three great
religions all rose from an area covering thousands of square miles in the
portion of the Earth referred to as the Middle East, vast in terms of the space
on earth, but microscopic in the space of our planet and our universe let alone
the known and unknown galaxies. We are led to believe that In God’s infinite
wisdom the prophets and ancestors of these three theologies were all plopped
down in almost the same place, nose to nose so they could argue with and pester
each other till the end of time. If only the Buddha was born in Oman, instead
of India the origins would be complete.
So, even though prayer in some odd but compelling way still informs my daily life, I am not a believer per se. Even my attachment to prayer as a spiritual support is sometimes shaken when I see baseball players and other athletes give all praise to God for the win or the great play. I know it is modesty-- all praise to and all that—but it just aggravates me. God in his or her wisdom allowed you or helped you to win that important game, while he or she allowed the plane to go down in Indonesia. Really? The extent of human narcissism is limitless.
The vast nature of the cosmos is just one limitation to my
faith, and as I remarked to a friend a couple of weeks ago, of the big three
religions Judaism seems to me at least the most logical. Jews at least are
still waiting for their Messiah. It just cannot be that the savior arrived
2,000 years ago, and the messenger followed a few hundred years later, and this
is what we have gleaned from their time on earth: A world filled with too much
hunger, too much war, and too much hatred, mostly and especially between those
of varying and hard scarred religious belief. While I recognize the doctrine of
free will that places the responsibility for man’s failure at humanity’s feet,
largely absolving God, it still seems to
me that we have done precious little with the admonition to love your brother
as yourself and turn the other cheek. So, even though prayer in some odd but compelling way still informs my daily life, I am not a believer per se. Even my attachment to prayer as a spiritual support is sometimes shaken when I see baseball players and other athletes give all praise to God for the win or the great play. I know it is modesty-- all praise to and all that—but it just aggravates me. God in his or her wisdom allowed you or helped you to win that important game, while he or she allowed the plane to go down in Indonesia. Really? The extent of human narcissism is limitless.
This is especially so when one comes to understand that though neither considers him the messiah, both Jews and Muslims acknowledge the existence of Jesus. Beyond the total lack of commitment to the most humane portions of religious dogma, analysis of what God chooses to engage in (A baseball game?) or leave alone (Genocide in Congo?) is problematic to put it mildly to any rational belief I might have in an almighty power active in our lives. And yet out of my own uncertainty, the comfort it provides, and the lessons of my youth, and despite my rational and what I think are well-reasoned reservations, I still pray all the time. Odd…
So, back to our family at O’hare. There they were. We see Muslims in our communities more often these days, but just as I am isolated from the Hassidim which form a major part of the town in which I live I am even more lacking in interaction with the Muslims in our midst. Though I’ve never seen a woman wearing abaya and niqāb working in a retail store, I have been struck by the numbers I see popping up in the rather large shopping complex which abuts our community wearing the hijab. Immigration from South and Central America, as well as from across Asia and Africa with their large populations of Hindus and Muslims, is where America now draws its fresh blood and vibrancy.
What got me to thinking though is how that little girl could ever be comfortable in that tiny box of containment, the clothes of her family’s orthodoxy. In conservative societies girls are expected to wear the abaya before they reach puberty, but I wondered how this family would handle that, especially since they were already somewhat liberal in permitting their daughter to appear barefoot which in some societies would not be permitted. I wondered how the parents and their devout faith would influence that girl to hide her light, not only to cover her body as though its mere existence was somehow vile and unclean, but also to accept the subservient role to men’s needs and desires that the wearing of the garments implies.
The three great religions, all patriarchal, are built on the
premise that woman are impure temptations to men. The entire point of view is
from that of the men in the church. Male Catholic leaders decide what role
women will have in the church, and at least for now they may be lay leaders,
but not spiritual leaders. It all seems so archaic to me. But then again the
immodesty of many secular youth does not appeal to me either. Maybe I’m just
too old and cranky to figure any of this out. But with all of that how will
they do it? How will the parents of that
little girl pull it off? I remember reading some time ago, a novel by the
wonderful mystery writer Faye Kellerman who often writes about orthodox Jewish
characters. In this particular novel she wrote of a young boy who wanted to
escape the confines of his orthodox community.
Hasidic and Orthodox Jews are often organized into tight knit
communities and the children do not attend public school, but Muslims with few
exceptions are assimilated in our communities.
It would seem logical to me at least, that just as Kellerman’s character
almost every child might face that desire.
With the strings of community and faith many will not act on it. I
wondered what this little girl who reminded of nothing so much as my own kids
at that age, I wondered what road she would take. I said a prayer for her and
went to board my plane.